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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711623">What Abed Wants...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BexYZ/pseuds/BexYZ'>BexYZ</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Feelings, Fluff and Angst, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:20:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711623</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BexYZ/pseuds/BexYZ</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What Abed wants changes throughout his life. He mostly wants to be happy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Abed Wants...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Abed wants to be normal.</p><p>Maybe if he had been normal his mom wouldn’t have left and his dad wouldn’t yell all the time. Maybe his dad wouldn’t look at him like it hurts sometimes because he has his mother’s eyes. He can’t help genetics.</p><p>Maybe if he was normal he would be able to talk to the other kids in school without them rolling their eyes and leaving in the middle of his sentences. If they even listened to the beginning in first place. He wishes his high school experience could be closer to <em>Grease</em> than <em>Mean Girls</em>, but maybe he should just be happy it hasn’t reached <em>Carrie</em>-level awfulness. Yet.</p><p>Maybe if he was normal he could understand the looks people give one another when he is in the room. The way they seem to be communicating something, but it’s in a language he can’t hear, much less understand. The closest he can guess is that it’s frustration mixed with pity. Maybe a dash of indulgence on his good days and discomfort on all of the others. He wishes he could just make someone happy instead.<br/>___<br/>Abed wants to make movies.</p><p>Movies make sense and follow patterns he can predict. If he could make movies he could highlight what was important with camera angles, lighting, and music instead of trying to say it louder. He doesn’t always remember which words to inflect, so if it’s important enough he should probably just emphasize all of them. Movies don’t need that.</p><p>If something is important in a movie, there is usually a close up. A zoom. A swell of music or a lingering shot after the characters have left the scene. The soundtrack tells you what emotions the director is looking for. Music explains feelings in a way faces just don’t. At least, not for Abed.</p><p>If he could make movies, he could write all of his dialogue in advance and filter out anything that would make people uncomfortable. He could have a friend read through it and give him feedback without having to actually live through any of the events. If he had a friend, that is.<br/>___<br/>Abed wants to make his friends happy.</p><p>He never expected he would have a friend, much less a group of them. They sometimes still get frustrated, like Jeff when he breaks the fourth wall or Annie with her psych experiment, but they usually explain why which helps.</p><p>He’s never had a friend like Britta who wants to take care of him and help him reach his goals or like Shirley who wants to save his eternal soul, even if he thinks that’s silly. He’s learned not to tell her that. </p><p>He’s never had a friend like Troy. </p><p>He just hasn’t. </p><p>And Abed wants to make him happy, just like Troy makes him.<br/>___<br/>Abed wants Troy to stay.</p><p>Troy is his roommate. His best friend. His...something bigger than a best friend, but he doesn’t have words to express what that is.</p><p>Troy understands when he needs time alone or when he needs someone to sit beside him and hold his hand. Troy watches the same episode of Inspector Spacetime with him over and over again without sighing or acting bored. He understands the Dreamatorium almost as well as Abed does. Almost.</p><p>Troy makes him feel safe. Feel cared for. Feel loved even. His other friends make him feel happy, but not like Troy. The others are glad he is there, but if they had to choose one other person, they would each choose one of the others. Troy would choose him. He’d say he would choose Troy, but that’s so obvious it would be redundant to even mention. But it’s probably important enough to mention anyway.</p><p>Troy is leaving and there is nothing Abed can do about it. <br/>___<br/>Abed wants to be left alone.</p><p>He wants to be left alone in front of the TV with his buttered noodles and special drink and popcorn and water. Annie makes him take the water even if he doesn’t want it. Annie is always there, looking at him like he is a glass figurine, sitting on the edge of a tall mantle and teetering towards a tile floor below. He loves Annie, but he wants to be alone.</p><p>He goes to school when he has to. He hangs out with the study group because he’s supposed to. The others would just bother him more if he didn’t. But he wants to be left alone and nobody try to fix him and nobody talk to him about Troy and nobody touch him because it feels like there are sharp pieces of wood being slid under his skin all the time and it hurts.</p><p>What he really wants is to be with Troy. But if he can’t be with Troy, he’d rather be alone.<br/>___<br/>Abed wants to feel better.</p><p>He wants to feel better and he is actually starting to. He is glad his friends didn’t give up on him, even when he thought he wanted them to.</p><p>He likes saving Greendale from itself. It’s led to a lot of adventures too ridiculous even for him to have predicted five years ago. He likes Frankie even if she reminds him of Annie so much he forgets who he’s talking to sometimes. He likes Elroy because his face always shows what he’s thinking. And he’s usually thinking they are all dumb. But that’s okay.</p><p>Abed wants to feel better because he has been applying for jobs in LA and he knows he needs to take better care of himself if he’s going to live on his own for real. He wants to feel better because he knows Troy would want him too, but he tries not to think about that part.<br/>____<br/>Abed wants to be with Troy.</p><p>And he is. Troy is back, looking a little older and a lot more tired, but he’s back. He came to LA to see Abed and he might just stay.</p><p>Abed wants to be with Troy and Troy wants to be with Abed. Troy told him so and Abed has never felt happier in his life. He wants to hug Troy, so he does. Troy wants to kiss him and he likes it. </p><p>He wants to have his arm around Troy when all of their friends come to visit and let them know that they are together officially and Troy is his and he is Troy’s. He wants to kiss Troy on the forehead and the lips and maybe some other places after his friends leave.</p><p>Troy promises to never leave Abed again. They both promise to love each other and care for each other and be together and make each other happy. Every day, forever.</p><p>And that’s all Abed wants.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've apparently caught the writing bug and can't help myself. Comments/constructive criticism appreciated. :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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